I’ve believed in my heart for a very long time that there are no coincidences. It’s just that, most often; my overactive head takes over and forgets to acknowledge these things. When I do finally take a step away from the constant buzzing of my brain and look around, I see that the universe has a flow to it that, if you just let it be and not force things, dances effortlessly in the manner that it should.
Blah blah blah, what the hell are you talking about LaurDoone? OK let me try to explain. I have been having a weird few weeks and have really not been able to get a handle on life. Work crazy, kids crazy, emotions crazy, relationships crazy, eating habits crazy, everything CRAZY. I felt all out of sorts and finally connected it to the Mercury retrograde which is FINALLY ending. What learning about the retrograde made me realize is that the crazy that was happening to me had a purpose or explanation. Things were triggered by the retrograde but when I broke them each down separately in my head, I could reflect a bit on why what I was experiencing was affecting me like it was. I won’t go deep into the super personal stuff, but let me explain what happened to me today.
My check engine light has been on for a couple of weeks. GASP, LaurDoone, how irresponsible, take care of your car! Simmer down, folks, I had a diagnostic check that told me it was a temperature gauge issue so I kinda knew what it was but also – HELLO I am a single working mom with a limited budget so that little light on creates a domino effect of managing work, kids, finances, and sitting in a repair shop because I don’t have a partner to help with car sharing. Trying to coordinate all that in my head combined with the mental clusterf*ck of the retrograde just kind of paralyzed me a bit but I knew it was going to be OK.
So, this afternoon, I blocked out my schedule. I planned to go grab some lunch, grab some Powerball tickets (BREAKING NEWS: I didn’t win), and then head over to the shop to see what was the what with the temp gauge. I left on my quest and ended up driving around for a solid 30 minutes in my quest to get cash for Powerball, get the tickets, and get lunch. It should have taken 10-15 minutes for all of that. It was just a weird thing of traffic, missing turns, and feeling out of sorts. I chalked it up to being too hungry to make split second decisions of turning around immediately when I missed a turn and things like that. But I was only driving around in about a 2 mile radius and it took me a very long time. As I started to get stressed I checked myself and thought, it’s OK, there’s a reason for it. Just let it FLOW.
So finally I made it to the repair shop. Yep, need a new thermostat. Apparently these are wrapped in gold and buried deep deep inside the complex caverns of the vehicle so with parts and labor, it was more than I wanted to spend. They said it would take an hour and a half. I clenched my glutes as my brain calculated redistributing my finances and took a seat in their waiting area with my iPhone, tablet, and iPod (I really have too many devices).
I spend my time there checking email, Facebook, Instagram… the usual. I also spend some time texting with people and listening to good music. Even though I was “connected” electronically, I was disconnected from my usual element. It was great to get a chance to think about life and stuff. Until the time went past an hour and a half. On to two hours. Two and a half hours. THREE HOURS.
I was getting steamed. I knew it was out of my control and I received frequent updates on their work so my frustration was not with the shop, just the race against time in general. I had to go get my kids, after all. I was approaching that uncomfortable moment when you’re just not sure you can get to where you need to get to on time. So, I’m stressing but I’m also telling myself, it’s OK, I’m spending this time repairing the car that safely transports my most precious littles to where they need to go. This is time well invested. But OMG GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Finally my car is ready, I (begrudgingly) pay my bill, and leave. I’m heading to get the kids when I get on the highway for the 2 exits I take it for. I see flashing lights. I see disabled vehicles. I drive by what looks like the aftermath of a horrific accident. Two cars on the left side that have gone off the road and likely flipped – one was COVERED in mud. Two cars on the right side that have gone off the road and are facing the wrong way. This had obviously happened prior enough that any folks injured were taken away and what I saw was the end investigation/aftermath. Casualties? Probably not, but definitely impactful on the folks in these cars.
It dawned on me right then. My aimless driving to get to lunch, the 3 hour wait instead of an hour and a half for my car. All of that. The universe was buying me time so that I was nowhere near that terrible accident. The universe made sure that today, I fixed my car instead of damaged it. Today, I could pick my kids up from daycare and carry on with my day.
Am I overthinking it? Maybe. But tomorrow if I am delayed, redirected, or otherwise detoured, I will remember to thank the universe and not curse it when I arrive safely, eventually, at my destination. I will, as I did today, express nothing but pure gratitude.