The most asked question of a pregnant woman is “how are you feeling?” This beats out the “are you finding out/do you know what you are having?” as the most asked since usually the latter is only asked once or twice and the answer is definite. The how are you feeling question is asked repeatedly, sometimes even daily. While a seemingly innocuous question, it really does become a minefield for the babybaker. In reality, the questioner expects one of maybe three answers: “Fine, thanks,” or “I’ve had some morning sickness,” or “I’m feeling a bit tired,” or any combination of the three. Anything else falls outside of the desired answer category. I generally go with “Fine, tired but fine.” Seems to satisfy the desire that a pregnant woman is feeling good but also at the same time feeling pregnant. Beyond that, the questioner does not want to know anything else. If you begin to give any further information, there’s a glazed over look in the eye that says “I really didn’t want to know I was just asking to be nice.” Think you do want to know? OK, here is my honest answer to the question of “How are you feeling?”
I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I try to sleep as much as possible but end up waking up several times in the night. This isn’t even to pee, as I’m not yet running to the bathroom every hour so I’m looking forward to when that happens. No, this is just regular discomfort or pregnancy insomnia. So, even though I’m in bed by 10 every night, I am exhausted. Especially after running after a 2 year old all day. Sure it was my choice to have another kid but I’m still f*cking tired.
My body aches all over. I’m less in shape and older this time around so I’m feeling it everywhere. My back, my belly, my joints, everything feels like it is falling apart. The round ligament pain I’m experiencing as my belly stretches for baby sometimes knocks the wind out of me. I don’t remember this from the first time around so I keep grabbing my side and wincing. Folks find me doing lamaze breathing at random. I feel a pressure in my pelvis that I think might be baby’s tushie wiggling around (baby is breech currently) and it is not comfortable. Sometimes I feel downright crappy all over without a specific explanation as to why.
My belly “popped” earlier than last time and not only is it due to it being my 2nd pregnancy, but I already had a bit of a pudge going into this one. Folks will argue with me about that but I hid it well. I played it off as a baby belly in the beginning but, really, that was all me. So, I just feel a bit more fatty this time. Oh, and the girls are OUT OF CONTROL. They were pretty out of control big the first time around but its happening earlier. I’m already up to a very large bra and sometimes they just feel like bowling balls. It is only going to get worse. I feel like a national geographic bush woman. Big boobs like this do not feel sexy, they are just RIDICULOUS. Dressing myself is a chore because I just don’t have a whole lot in the closet that looks somewhat normal. This is why I rotate the same 4 outfits all week long.
With the holidays approaching and general social gatherings continuing, I’m invited to go to various parties and dinners. While normally I love doing so, right now it sounds awful. Squeezing myself into a cutesy holiday outfit and staying out until 11pm when all I want is to be in my jammies laying in front of the TV by 6pm? Ugh. Watching everyone else around me imbibe the wine, beer, and champagne that I so do miss? Ugh. Combing through food spreads picking out what is safe and what isn’t for me to eat? Ugh. But, I will go and enjoy myself as best I can.
Some of the lovely moments of later pregnancy are also upon me. Just this weekend alone my shards-of-glass-dipped-in-battery-acid-feeling acid reflux has commenced. I’ve also lost my pucker power as I pissed myself while sneezing. So, I’ve got that going for me. Oh, and I can’t remember anything. Seriously, anything.
So, wait, what was the question again…?